This woman’s work is DONE

Like the drunk monkey said to Dr. Doolittle, “I give it up!”
The monkey had a drinking problem and as he said those words he tossed his miniature flask to the ground.

I’ve tossed my shovel to the ground. I too, “give it up!”

In the month of March I set out to create this backyard oasis. I was determined to excavate the land, level out the hole with sand and lay pavers creating a beautiful patio. I wanted a platform for my outdoor seating area. Well, I spent weeks clearing the land. It’s about 25′ in diameter.

And then, well, um, see, the project kinda, sorta, maybe got out of hand. I probably do not have enough upper body strength to actually lay the heavy pavers that my heart desires to see in the space. Nope, I mean I can lift them and tote them with trembling arm muscles from point A to point B. But when you talk about placing them down in level and perfectly symmetric lines with some degree of precision, that’s another story. In fact, that story will never be told.

So now that it’s July and months have passed and I’ve taken countless trips to Lowe’s and spring has expired and summer is quickly following, it dawned on me that I just don’t even want to do it anymore. Grass has started to grow in the hole and my compact car has taken enough abuse from hauling sand bags and cement pavers. It’s time to get some professionals (or at the very least some day laborers) to tackle this job.

I’ve had my fun, and pushed myself as far as I’m willing to go. My husband was right about this all along and I’m woman enough to admit it. He’s been standing by waiting to get some professionals involved. I’d like to take this time now to thank him for exercising a moderate degree of patience while letting me figure out he was right.

I’d like to thank my miniature sidekick for volunteering at all times to help me dig in the dirt with her plastic shovel. I’m sending a special thank you to all the friends who edged me on with supporting words and offers to come by and pitch in. A very special thank you goes out to the one who sat in the dirt hole with me and drank wine as we imagined ourselves sitting on a completed patio. But to those so-called friends who laughed and called my yard a “mess,” I say SO WHAT!!? You scoffers probably will NOT be invited to the grand opening. Even though you too were right.

Mission Return-everything-to-Lowe’s is well underway and will be completed by week’s end.