Blue Mood

At least once a month, for reasons beyond, my control I experience a dramatic shift in my mood. My hormones regularly throw me into familiar and unwelcome states of being: insecurity, doubt, melancholy, woe, apprehension.

I’m plagued by the most unreasonable and unsubstantiated thoughts. I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’ll never amount to anything, I’m such a loser. I suck at parenting. My friends don’t really like me. Does my husband even love me? My parents must be so disappointed.

No need to plan an intervention! Thankfully, I’m aware of the cause and I know when these feelings begin to sprout that they’re just feelings. None of it is true.That being said, it’s still hard to ignore the feelings. Some days, like today, I am in such a funk I want to just sit in the dark or take an 18-hour nap. But, I can’t. I have to work, coexist.

So this means I need to kick off a session of self motivation. Listening to will.i.am’s “Brand New Day” on repeat, drinking Starbucks, a shopping spree in the Target $1 spot, purging into a blog post….all help usher me through the fog.

And I’m not done yet. After work today I’m going to the gym to sweat it out to my workout jams playlist, then I’ll go home and soak in a luxurious bath and punctuate the evening with a fresh coat of red toe nail polish.

Tomorrow is a new day.